Monday, 18 June 2012

My plus one

I'm not sure if I have ever talked about my dog Tess on here before.

She turned 12 on the 30th of March.
Yet no one believes that she is this "old dog". She still reacts like a puppy. If she meets other dogs along a walk, she still wants to play, while dogs half her age can act with more decorum.



For all that I complain about her, I guess I wouldn't have it any other way. How else would I be able to yell "For the love of all that's holy...' when she just won't sit still. I also wouldn't be able to give her titles, which is a thing I have. Her's currently: Worst Trained Dog Ever.
I swear we all did try to train her at some point. But like with too many cooks in the kitchen - she is easily confused and now has chosen to forget everything, like basic sitting on command. Trying to make her "stay", tip: just give up now.
I have thought about taking her to puppy school. But I feel she would embarrass herself.
For example wet herself by the site of so many other people and other dogs (it has happened before).

It is easy for Tess to get confused, she takes after me and is a natural blonde. Difference between us: I have retained (mostly) the ability to understand English. I also dye my locks to confuse the average punter.

We have been been bringing Tess inside lately. She has this ability to find a way to take herself on walks. We couldn't find how she was getting out. I have now found her escape route. She goes behind the shed, jumps onto the spare roof tiles we have piled up there, and legs it into the neighbours backyard.
They only have nice things to say about her, stating that she behaves nicely and they don't mind having her there until we get over there to pick her up. Considering she usually decides she needs a walk about 1.30 in the morning.
The last time she got over (and its not easy on her, its a long way down), she was actually on a rope in the back yard, so that she couldn't leave... but her collar was on too loosely, so when she jumped over the fence, the collar came free - still attached to the leash/rope, luckily as if it didn't come free she could have hung herself. But she got scared over in their yard, as these new neighbours close their gate, unlike the last lot. So she started doing the only thing that she knew how. She cried.
I spent hours trying to find ways to get her back.
I got a chair and jumped on that, and was trying to see if I could reach over the fence and pull her over.
Tess is not a tiny dog, she is a golden retriever cross with a samoyed.
But she was two inches away from me being able to get her. I thought about quietly opening the gate and just getting her, but we haven't settled the relationship with the new neighbours yet, the old ones I would have been too scared about doing anything to upset them - they tended to call security as soon as they didn't like anything we did. So I had to leave her there over night. She cried all night, when she remembered she wasn't on an adventure. I had to go to my window in my room and stage whisper that it was her own fault that she was stuck there.
Thus its easier and I feel better if I bring her inside all the time, it used to just be a gift that I would bring her in, a privilege if you will.
Now she sees it as her right; like I said she can get confused easily and forgets how things were.
Sometimes I wonder how she remembers me when I change hair colour, or clothes.


We recently had a storm here in Perth, and Tess gets scared by storms (bless her soul). So I lock her up in the laundry. To try and give her a sense of security, and the fact that she can't sleep in the house - mostly due to the fact she doesn't know how to let me know she needs to go outside for special Tess time. I had a big Wednesday night, and thus slept in quite late on Thursday. When I arose, I stayed in my room instead of venturing outside into the cold house.
Which meant that Tess had not been let out. I went down stairs to go to the loo, and let Tess out at the same time (I had to go to the downstairs toilet due to upstairs bathroom having locked itself closed, and I was waiting for Garth/brother to come and fix that issue).... luckily I had gone downstairs, as stepping off the last stair I stepped into a pond. I forgot all about needing to go to the toilet and raced to the laundry, the source of the flowing river. There was Tess, waiting for me - almost knee deep.
Water was sprouting up onto the wall from the back of the washing machine.
I turned off the power and pulled the plug. Nothing happened.
I opened the machine and there was nothing inside.
I turned off the water at the tap. I couldn't figure out what had happened, but I looked at the pooch and I knew it had something to do with her. Though inside was wet too, I couldn't bring the dog in - there was just too much work needed to be done, and she has this special ability to get in the way.
So I went outside and pulled with strength I didn't know I had to get the rope (which was still caught from the last time Tess took an adventure into the neighbours yard), I wrapped it around and around the clothes line to make it shorter, I didn't want her to go anywhere.

I had to take my slippers off as they were drenched (it took 2.5 days for those babies to dry). I looked at all the damage that had been caused. Our library was ankle deep, the water made it all the way to the front door through both the lounge room and family room, the hall was water logged, and I feared it was going to leak into the practise room (mother is a music teacher, so we have a room with a "spare" piano, a mirror, other instruments... its also silently referred to as the our trophy room).
I did the only thing I could think of. Called the mother.
But of course she didn't know how to charge her phone, or even where it was.
I looked at the time. Garth was still at work.
Time to call the sister.
Alana was driving home at the time, and had someone with her. So she got there as soon as she could.
I then called Garth, I knew I had too.
The house was a disaster.
It is now Sunday evening, and we have (mostly the brother) cleared the library, the house is now covered in books. Most of the carpet has been ripped off downstairs.
Ends up that Tess had become so scared she had tried to jump into the sink (she often does this) and got caught on the hose that links between the machine and the tap, with her weight landing on it, snapped it at the machine.
Garth has bought a new hose that is metal, so we're hoping that will work.

Today I was eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich.... now the thing about Tess is she likes to share. Share your things. So I gave her a couple of bites. I'm not much of a eating the crusts kind of person... so I threw them into the grass. After Tess had done her special business, she proceeded to hunt down my crusts and go bury them. But the look on her face when she had to think of hiding places for them.... I wonder if she will remember this tomorrow.

Garth makes remarks that maybe its time to donate to the dog to some friends of his, his rationale being that the mother and I just don't have the time or the energy to cope with her.
Other than Tess's need to rub her nose over the underside of my arms, and be touching me at all times, and for the love of god if she could just learn personal space; I could never get rid of her. She is mine.

Also, she makes the cat jealous, and that amuses me.

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

the double standard

Here is the thing.

When girls go out, they prepare themselves.
They shave their legs, their underarms (and any other part of their body they think needs a good flick of the razor...), and they wash their hair, they style their hair. They look at their cosmetic case and make up their minds about whether it is worth it to have their face fall off if going out clubbing, or if they are having a slumber party for two - will it detract if it ends up all over the sheets or on the other partner?
Once that decision is made, it then becomes a matter of what one is to wear.
Hours can be spent negotiating the wardrobe, creating that outfit which will wow not only those with you - but also those watching you - with jealous eyes.
Don't even get me started on choosing a pair of shoes... do you go flats, which will make the dancing easier, or heels that make your butt and calves look better than your ex's current squeeze?


When our male counterpart goes out (now I am super generalizing here... if you are one of the few who thinks long and hard about your appearance... I am single) - they generally grab the nearest item of clothing off the floor that smells clean, and double score if it has no stains.
Yet, and herein lies the rub... due to what appears to be the over population of women in the western world - we have to accept these men as the crème of the crop.
The best we are able to get, as for some reason they believe they always look their best, and still expect us to go that extra effort to make us ourselves accepetable in their eyes.

When did this double standard appear? In the animal kingdom, it is the male counterpart who has to work for the affection of the female... so why do I have to work so hard to attract the attention of a male?
And when I do, he is not exactly the kind I would love to bring home to meet the mother. 
They are either creepy stalker kind of men, or ones that just make no effort, and I wonder why I'm trying to bother at all.

But what is the solution? Stay forever single, grow old and start collecting cats?
Not exactly what I thought was in the cards for me.

So here is my plea - men step up your game, or else - It is time we women go on a man strike.
And then you're going to have to work mighty hard to gain my affection.


In other news, I have a new hair style


Too many people have thought this is my natural hair colour.
Also, I have to learn to shut my wardrobe doors at some point.  

/end rant

Friday, 2 March 2012

Have I got the X-Factor?

So, its March - and you know what that means?
I haven't blogged for over two months.

I said I would try to be a better blogger, not that it would happen.

Let us move on from that horrible information and talk about the new aspects of my life.
As the world is all about me, didn't you know?

Myself and a friend at the Venga Boys concert. 

March 18th is the Perth audition for the reality tv show X-Factor, and I am thinking about entering this year, for funzies.

So I need to hear what you think?
From that, you probably want to hear what I sound like, right?
So, I'm getting my act together - and I'm going to record a couple of songs... get you guys to listen to them, and let me know what you think.

So you're going to have a few posts from me very soon... and as I didn't say it before...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
(Also, I'm now old... so please, send your sympathy presents to me...)
xox

Monday, 19 December 2011

Nature 1, Megan 0 - till we meet again nature.

Good Afternoon Internets,

I hope this post finds you well.

I have recently returned from a camping trip Down South in Walpole (South West, Western Australia).
It was meant to be a relaxing trip away from the hard life that is the city (who am I kidding, I live in Perth... its not really a city...).

As I was saying, it was meant to be relaxing... but little did I... or my mother know some of it it would be anything but.
I think my poor mother saw a side of me she never has before, and it was rage. Pure unadulterated rage.
I don't like bugs... or any pests for that matter.
I hate flies... but I could live with them. The Horse Flies however - I believe I asked my dear mother more than once, why couldn't Noah just swatted them before sailing away on his ark?
The only answer I have, is so that they could try and kill me whilst on a relaxing break.
These beasts are so set on ruining your day, that they even find ways of eating your flesh through your clothing.
I think they must have mated with cockroaches along the evolutionary trail, as these part godzilla flying dragons wouldn't die, no matter how much bug spray was cursed in their direction, nor from my skilled flicking abilities (I do have siblings...).

As the day progressed though, these winged killers went back to the pits of hell from whence they came. In their place came the blood sucking vampires and giant winged wombats... No Edward Cullen did not join us for a spot of dinner...
the mozzies and gigantic moths appeared to ruin my dinner.
Seriously, they were as big as my face.
The only thing that made dinner bearable was my mother and the fact that we had beer.

On about day three of our camping adventure, we managed to start cooking before the sun went down, and lo and behold another pest made their way into special dinner time. At first I thought it was going to be a lovely cute moment...
video
I was wrong.
Singing to the Kookaburra only made them come back in packs... and steal our food.

Then they came back every night.
Luckily, my mother got to see me swear like I have never sworn before.
I think it was a beautiful moment for us both.

Luckily on our trip however, we were able to buy honey mead, which is one of the sweetest things you'll ever get drunk on; and all sorts of ciders.
And olives; and if you know one thing about our family, is we love our olives.

till next time internet,
m

ps. I turn 24 in a month (my sister just reminded me...) holy macaroons...

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Sometimes I just think of myself as a horrible person

I know I said I was going to try to be a better blogger - sigh what a joke that was.

However, I have finished uni for the year - so I will see what summer brings.
You may have noticed I said for the year and not for life, here is what happened. I got so sick, that I failed a unit, and there was no way to fix it.
So at least another semester is needed... but I have a plan (I always have a plan).
I'm going to pick up some politics units and maybe some English literature - have yet to make up my mind on that one.
I think that way I'l be a more rounded journalist.
Plus when I was filling out the application for the ABC cadetship, I just didn't have enough experience as a journalist for me to believe that I could even be considered.
So this up coming year, the year the world is meant to end - will be me trying to gain experience as a journalist and finding ways to fill up that quota.

I'm also going to be going on a camping trip with my mum starting tomorrow. Hopefully there will be internet access, just so that I can still be in contact with the world.
I'm going to use this time however to try and edit my novel.
I've been working on it for about 9 years now, so I think it is almost time for it to see the light of day - and have a chance at being published.

Well that is the plan anyway.

Also I painted my nail's red - not sure I like it.
What do you think?
Yeah I don't know either.

Saturday, 1 October 2011

"Shame is worse than death" Russian Proverb

My dear friends, family, other people who have somehow mistakenly fallen onto this blog...
How could I have left it so long between posts? I'll never know.
I am now here to rectify this problem.

If I say I'm sorry, who am I really apologising too?
I guess myself. As soon as it became a month after my last post I was saddened with myself for letting it become this late.

Starting now, I vow to try to blog more often.
I'm not going to promise that it will happen, due to the horrible evidence that I am not one who has a great track record. Instead I will try harder and all that...

I am now getting ready to try and finish up this semester. This will be the time that I will be marking off the section of the exam papers with yes, I am graduating...
What a scary thought. 
I have no idea what I am meant to do next year. 
Do I stay at university for another year and do my graduate diploma, or try to find a real job?
It is giving me a lot to think about, and if you have any ideas - you should really let me know!

Now, as I said from my last post, some photos from Supa Nova!

Me as Dr River Song (season 6 DW) with the 11th and 10th Doctors.


River Song with the 4th Doctor

And yes, that is a wig.

ALSO fun facts:
I am currently a director in PAANDA (Performing Arts Association of Notre Dame Australia)'s pantomime of Snow White and the 7th Dwarf.
It is a modern re-telling of the classic, and hopefully will be awesome.
To prove my point here are some pictures (photos taken by close friend and Marketing Manager: Marissa Collova)

Me with one of the Stage Managers, Andy

Me stepping in for one of the characters... thats right if you don't behave I will punch the actors.

Watching some of the male actors trying to get one of the routines down.

Teaching the routine to "Single Ladies"

Still teaching "Single Ladies"
Stage Manager Andy and Me performing "Single Ladies" to the rest of the cast.
As you can tell, this production is going to be amazing! :D


Saturday, 25 June 2011

Walking with the Bennetts

I believe I have been channeling my inner Elizabeth Bennet recently.
Instead of waiting for a carriage (read the bus) in the cold, I've been walking home from work. It's a long walk, an over two hour walk. I always think I'm a bit of an idiot afterwards and wonder why I did it again.

It has happened more than once, I have looked over the days that I feel the urge, and it has coincided with mornings I've had a giant can of red bull (to stay awake whilst at work...) - so a little different from Lizzie Bennett; who actually enjoyed her walks.
My mother is proud of me - which confuses me, she is proud that I can walk? I do believe she is the one who taught me...
What the Bennetts never had to do was data entry, or call persons for their latest email address as the one we have "returned to sender". None of them had to make each and every call sound sincere.
I'm not trying to sound ungrateful.
It is a job that pays the bills and the book obsession I seem to have.

It is also helping to pay for my fun filled weekend at the Supanova, pop culture convention (read getting my super geek on).
So I should be happy enough for that, right? It's a count the blessings kind of moment.

In saying that, Supanova weekend...
Yes there will be photos... xox